


Take My Hand

by BingeMac



Series: Quidditch League Fanfic Competition [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, One Shot, The Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-15 22:48:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18678895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BingeMac/pseuds/BingeMac
Summary: Remus met Tonks, and thus began a confusing, regretful, romantic, and tragic love story.(Round 2 of QLFC Season 7. Go Kestrels!)





	Take My Hand

**Author's Note:**

> A/N- QLFC, Kenmare Kestrels, Beater 1, Round 2
> 
> Main Prompt- Write about a character(s) who is usually logical, practical, and systematic meeting someone the exact opposite of them: illogical, impractical, and spontaneous.
> 
> Additional Prompts- 1. (characteristic trait) that of a Sagittarius, 10. (quote) Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way; wisdom is looking both directions before crossing anyway, 11. (song) Living on a Prayer- Bon Jovi, 14. (emotion) regret
> 
> Word Count: 2898

~July 31, 1995~

“We should double-back here and… here.”

Mad-Eye leaned over the map of England that held their mission details, his magical eye roaming over the spots Remus pointed out for a long, stretched-out moment, before nodding his head curtly.

Remus had only been working with the famous auror for a few weeks, but it was clear the two of them made a great team. They were both logical and pragmatic people, and Remus’s more trusting nature balanced out Mad-Eye’s paranoia quite nicely. Honestly, Remus couldn’t have asked for a better partner in the Order.

Except… Remus kept finding himself extremely baffled by the auror’s choice of confidants.

To be fair, Kingsley Shacklebolt was a welcome addition to the Order of the Phoenix, and not just because he was keeping the ministry off of Sirius’s trail. Frankly, he was a brilliant auror and a decent man.

No, Kingsley wasn’t the problem.

“Have you planned for the flock of pigeons we are sure to encounter, or are we good? Can we go?”

Remus took a steadying breath before facing Nymphadora Tonks. She had a shit-eating grin on her face. “This is a very delicate extraction—““So I’ve heard,” Tonks interjected, rolling her lime green eyes. “But if we don’t leave soon, Harry Potter will be flying here in broad daylight. Now… I don’t think we want that, do we?”

“No—“  
“Great! I’ll meet you in Little Whinging then, yeah?”

Before Remus could process it, Tonks left the room and he could hear a loud crack as she disapparated from 12 Grimmauld Place.

“Does she ever think before she acts?”

“Not really,” came the unexpected reply from Mad-Eye who was already following after his young protege. Remus could see the older wizard smiling slightly just before he exited the study.

Remus heaved one last sigh before trailing after them.

When he arrived just outside the Dursleys’ house alongside Kingsley, Emmeline, Dedalus, Hestia, Mad-Eye, and Tonks, he let himself wonder for a brief moment how it was he came to meet someone so completely the opposite of him in every conceivable way. 

And he wondered why he couldn’t stop a grin from forming on his own face whenever he thought of her.

***

~December 6, 1995~

“…Suddenly, Tonks sprouted to a staggering eight feet tall! She towered over Mundungus with eyes a cold, unearthly violet; I’ve never seen a man drop a priceless piece of china so fast in my life. But her reflexes were quick and her wand saved it just before it hit the ground. It was a good thing too, because surely that would have awoken the potential death eater whose house we snuck into— Why are you looking at me like that?”

Sirius, his head resting along the edge of his thumb and forefinger, was staring at Remus with eyes full of surprise and bewilderment. His lips were turned up in a lopsided smile as if he were meeting Remus for the first time and found him truly delightful.

“I’ve just never seen you so…” Sirius blinked a few times before finishing his sentence with a startling, “Lovestruck.”

Remus choked on the firewhisky he’d been sipping all night, relishing in the burn for a few seconds so he wouldn’t have to acknowledge Sirius’s words quite yet. He squeezed his eyes shut to alleviate the sting and then faced his best mate incredulously. “Pardon?”

Sirius snorted. “Oh please, Moony. I’ve known you for nearly two decades. You think I can’t tell when you fancy someone? Granted, it’s a rare thing for you, but not unheard of. This time, though… I mean, it’s completely obvious, mate. I honestly can’t believe you aren’t off shagging like bunnies right now.”

Remus rolled his eyes, ecstatic to be able to latch onto some of Sirius’s words and plant his feet firmly back on solid ground. “I very much doubt she feels that way about me, Pads.”  
“Ah,” Sirius announced in a way that halted Remus in his tracks. That one syllable did not bode well, nor did the look of pure delight on Sirius’s handsome face. “But you aren’t denying that you feel that way about her.”

“Oh for Merlin’s sake,” Remus mumbled. 

He could feel the start of a headache behind his eyes and he rubbed his temples for lack of anything else to do. There wasn’t any point refuting Sirius’s statement now, so Remus didn’t bother. He grabbed his glass of firewhisky off the table and stared into its contents for a long, dejected moment. 

“Because it is your birthday and I love you,” Remus muttered to the oak dining table in the dilapidated kitchen of 12 Grimmauld Place, “I will simply ask that you keep your signature penchant for brutal honesty to a minimum.”

Sirius barked out a laugh and Remus let a smile slip onto his face as he took another sip of the magical liquor.

“Aww… Come on, Moony. I’m stuck in this gods-forsaken house 24 hours a day, with only my mother and Kreacher for company.” If there was a bitter tinge in his inflection, Remus let it slide. “Let me keep my brutal honesty.”

Remus could understand Sirius’s plight. For a man whose greatest treasure was freedom, being locked in Azkaban for thirteen years, and now trapped in his own childhood home, had to be rough. Remus supposed he could allow his longest and truest friend the freedom to say whatever he wanted if he so pleased.

And it’s not that Remus didn’t enjoy Sirius’s proclivity for unabashed and sometimes vicious honesty. Most of the time he actually rather enjoyed it, especially at school when he spent most of his talents absolutely decimating James when it came to his crush on Lily.

But now Remus was in James’s shoes, and he didn’t much care for how uncharacteristically besotted he was finding himself with Nymphadora Tonks. He knew she could never return his feelings and worried that one day he would have to watch her fall in love and marry another. Were they not at war, Remus would have left long ago so that he would not have to watch such a thing happen. Alas, the world was not quite so simple.

Remus took a deep breath and finally looked up to meet the gaze of Sirius Black. “Fine,” he surrendered, and Sirius’s grin widened. “But keep the ribbing gentle or there will be severe consequences.”

Sirius’s smile grew even wider and just as he opened his mouth to presumedly begin the aforementioned ribbing, Tonks strode into the kitchens.

The young auror stopped short as both men fell silent and stared at her. “I just came to snag some leftover birthday cake before Kreacher tossed it.” Tonks narrowed her eyes at the two men. She must have seen something in their expressions that sparked her curiosity, for she pulled out a chair and sat down. “But now I’m much more interested in whatever you two were just talking about. Do share.”

And Sirius did, the prat. “I was just marveling at how single Remus is. A good looking bloke like him, you’d think he’d be married by now.”

Remus leaned across the table and smacked his best mate across the back of the head. Sirius barely even flinched.

“What do you think Tonks,” Sirius asked, his eyes having never left her face, as if studying her closely for clues.

Remus closed his eyes, bracing for the worst.

“Oh, I’d say we’re halfway there.”

Remus’s eyelids fluttered open, stunned.

We’re?

His gaze flashed to Dora just as the girl stood from her seat and dashed to the counter where the last of the sheet cake sat, waiting to be eaten. She enchanted the cake to float behind her and bid Sirius a, “Happy Birthday, Cousin,” on her way to the door.

Sirius thanked her.

“See you later, Remus.”

“Uh… yeah. Bye,” Remus stuttered out.

It was a long while after Tonks exited the kitchens before either of the men spoke again.

“And you said she doesn’t feel the same way about you? I’d say you are rather mistaken my fr—“

“Shut up, Sirius,” Remus interjected. His heart was racing.

No, it couldn’t be true. What could Tonks possibly see in him? He was a damaged, aging werewolf who would only bring pain to any relationship he was a part of—

“Moony.” 

Remus was taken aback by the gentle nickname uttered from Sirius’s lips. Their eyes met and he let the familiarity of their decades-old friendship wash over him like a salve. 

Then Sirius grinned an irksome grin. “Oh come on, let me heckle. I need to heckle.”

Remus grimaced. “Could you not?”

Sirius shrugged. “If you let me leave this house, I’ll never say another word about it.”

“Sirius,” Remus chastised.

“Remus,” Sirius mocked.

Remus took a deep, steadying breath. He was being ridiculous about this. Clearly the both of them were taking Tonks’s declaration out of context. It probably didn’t even mean anything; she just wanted cake. 

Who ever really knows what Tonks means about anything anyway? She’s so… illogical.

“Proceed with the heckling.”

***

~June 21, 1996~

Sirius was dead. All Remus could think about was how there was no body to bury.

Tonks was there, in his home. He had invited her for tea. 

“I love you,” she said.

He regretted inviting her over for tea.

“Don’t.”

Tonks sniffled, but he could see her straighten in her chair out of the corner of his eyes, her head held high. She said, “We are at war, Remus, and we might not see the end of it. I’m done waiting to find out if we make it or not. And it won’t matter if we don’t start holding on to the people we love.”

He wanted to feel happy that his feelings were being reciprocated, but he didn’t. He felt selfish and unworthy. All he wanted to do was scream and fight. Every logical bone in his body told him that this war was all that mattered, fighting was all that mattered. He was living to fight now. Nothing else. He had nothing else.

As if to contradict him, Tonks stood from the table, her cold cup of tea forgotten. She stalked to Remus’s side and grabbed his hand in her own.

“Let’s give this a shot,” she pleaded, her grip tightening.

He couldn’t feel her hand in his, numb to her touch. Remus shook his head and listened as she shed tears for an excruciatingly long time.

Finally she dropped his hand. “You’re stupid and noble, but when you start thinking rationally again, I’ll be right here.”

I am thinking rationally, he mused, as Tonks exited his house. She was the one being impractical with her choices. She had no future with him. She would realize that soon, surely.

***

~July 1, 1997~

Remus replayed the scene in the hospital wing over and over again in his head.

“You see! She still wants to marry him, even after he’s been bitten! She doesn’t care!”

“It’s different. Bill will not be a full werewolf. The cases are completely—“

“I don’t care either, I don’t care! I’ve told you a million times—“

“And I’ve told you a million time, that I am too old for you, too poor, too dangerous. Tonks, you deserve somebody young and whole.”

“But I want you!”

Dumbledore was dead, and these were the words that continued to plague him. It felt wrong that this was what he was thinking about… but it also felt right. After a year of closing himself off from the world, he wanted only to think of Tonks now. His Dora.

“Remus.”

The werewolf tore his gaze away from the lake to find a nervous Tonks eyeing him warily. For the first time in this past year, he allowed himself to really look at Tonks. It was a terrible sight. Gone were the vibrant colors and casual stance that were the woman he fell in love with what seemed like so long ago. 

Tonks looked worn and tired. 

She looked like him.

He’d done this. He’d ruined her.

“I’m sorry,” he said immediately. And he meant it. He truly regretted how this last year had played out… for both of them.

Tonks sighed and plopped down beside Remus on the grassy knoll that overlooked Hogwart’s lake. She picked at the blades of grass at her side for a brief moment. Then, without preamble, she asked, “Do you love me?”

Remus’s heart lifted slightly, because perhaps he hadn’t ruined her after all. She was still blunt and spontaneous. She spoke without thinking. He loved her for that.

“Yes,” he answered simply, truthfully.

He could see a small smile settle on Tonks’s lips, and her hair began turning a lovely shade of lavender.

“Let’s get married,” she stated matter-of-factly.

There were so many reasons not to marry Tonks. She would become an outcast amongst the wizarding community. Remus was a much older man with too many scars, both physical and emotional; he put Tonks in danger just by associating with her. He couldn’t imagine the toll marrying a dangerous creature like himself would take.

And although he wouldn’t dare to dream about children of his own, Dora would surely want them. But she couldn’t have them with him. There was always a chance that he might pass down his lycanthropy and he couldn’t risk that, even if there was no proof lycanthropy was a gene that could be inherited.

Remus was suddenly reminded of a quote by the muggle Albert Einstein, a favorite of his mother’s while he was growing up. He spoke it aloud now.

“Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way; wisdom is looking both directions before crossing anyway.”

There were so many variables and a wise man knows to consider them all before making a decision. Marrying Tonks was too great a risk.

Remus glanced up at Dora at long last to see if she understood what the quote meant. He physically startled to see her grinning from ear to ear.

Tonks laughed heartily at what he assumed was the very confused expression on his face. “Oh Remus,” she gushed amusedly. “You think yourself clever with your fancy quotes, but I don’t believe you understand that one as much as you might think.”

Remus tilted his head in further confusion. “It means that wise men have to be smart and cautious. Marrying you would be neither of those things.”

Dora’s eyes flashed a brilliant lime green and her grin only widened. She shook her head fondly. “I understand, Remus, but you seem to be missing one simple fact about the wise man in your quote.”

Tonks leaned in toward Remus until their faces were mere inches apart. The green of her eyes were all he could see.

“What am I missing?” Remus inquired in a whisper.

Tonks rolled her eyes. “He still crossed the street, you numpty.”

“…Oh.”

There was a long stilted silence that followed his one-syllable exclamation.

“Well?” Tonks, her body poised inches from his own, stared at Remus expectedly. “Do I really have to explain that I am metaphorically on the other side of the stree—“

Remus interrupted her speech with his lips. His hand came up to curl in her hair and he deepened the kiss, not thinking about the looming war for several blissful seconds. When they broke apart it all came rushing back, but it didn’t quite hurt so much to think of the future hardships they were sure to endure. They would face them together.

He knew he’d remember that brief moment of impulsive selfishness until the day he died.

A brilliant flush had settled on Dora’s cheeks as she took a moment to stare out over the calm lake water. He’d never seen anyone more beautiful.

Suddenly, Tonks held out her hand, silently asking him to take it. It felt like a promise, an assurance that they would make it through this war as long as they were together. 

He didn’t believe they’d see the end of this war, but Remus Lupin took Nymphadora Tonks’s hand anyway.

***

~ May 2, 2015~

On the 17th anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts, a blue haired seventh year was on his back, lying in the grass under a large oak tree. He watched the clouds roll across the blue sky with intelligent hazel eyes.

He was the product of a love he never got to witness, and his personality struck the perfect balance between a wild mother and a cautious father.

Sometimes he wished more than anything that he could have met his parents (just like his Godfather before him), but he couldn’t regret how his life turned out without them. He was doing fine.

This year, he had found the love of his life. He tilted his head in her direction, smiling at the way her long blond hair created a halo behind her head. She met his eyes; they sparkled like sapphires.

He held out a hand and she obliged, interlocking her fingers with his own. There was no hesitation in their movements. It was natural.

The boy returned his focus to the partially cloudy sky, giving the delicate hand in his grasp a gentle squeeze. The memorial was starting soon, but it could wait a little while longer.


End file.
